Changes

Today's post wasn't supposed to be about this but I felt like sharing my current thoughts. I'm not gonna whine about how shitty my life is but I hope this post changes at least one person's mind.
Until this moment I didn't realised two things about my life:
 First one is I just realized how deep my depression is. I know I promised not to grumble about this, but I believe I'm not the only one who feels crappy about themselves. The fact that you don't have anyone to talk to slowly starts to demolish you from inside. And when the demolition gets closer to the end, you feel like it should be your end too. There's no-one to live for. Your family won't even notice when you're gone. Why even bother breathing when you're no-one basically. And that's when I'll tell you NO! You're not no-one! And if you are, change that about you. You have a clean surface to begin creating yourself, build a new, improved version of you, the one that you're satisfied with. Youtube and various blogs are full of people who took a stand and changed their life and instead of sitting on a couch watching TV they went out, travelled the world, met people, CHANGED THEIR LIVES! I'm not saying you should go skydiving or bungee-jumping next thing in the morning but something like going for a walk around unknown places of your town, volunteering for the local animal shelter or just e-mail your old schoolmate and meet-up with them. Some change will definitely be efficient to your well-being. Take little steps and one day  you might be looking back to this day as the end of your dark days.
And that's where I came closer to my other realization today that struck me like a lightning. I almost got a panic attack from thinking that this fall I'll hopefully be thousand kilometers from my home alone in the unknown city of an amazing country called Denmark. I put my biggest hopes into those studies and if that doesn't work out, I'm planing on going to work there. But generally moving to another country alone is mortifying to me. I've never lived on my own, the only job I've worked is cashier and from that experience I hate it and if I move, I'll have to manage on my own. That is the first and the biggest step I've ever taken towards being self-sufficient adult. AND IT FEELS TERRIBLE. But I hate being a hypocrite and try to keep my new years resolution so I'll have to take smaller steps in changing my life to get used to the terrifying feeling. I understand I have to get out of my womb and face the real world. Partly I feel comfortable by not being bothered by the problems of the adulthood, but boredom and craving for changes are literally killing me.
SO I DARE YOU TO TAKE ACTION AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE! 
Good night!
~your mortified Weirdode